Kids Say . . . 2014 edition

The vast majority of my facebook status updates are cute/funny things my kids, mostly Little Bit, say. Recently a friend suggested that I should do a "year in review" of Little Bit's funny sayings, so I decided to take suggestion, but couldn't leave her sisters out. So . . . here are all the funny/cute things my kids said that made it onto facebook in 2014:

JANUARY:
Little Bit got up this morning, came downstairs, went to the bathroom, came back out and said "Daddy, guess what, I'm too big to put in the toilet"

Little Bit bumped her ice cream bowl and it landed on the floor. She told me it was her elbow's fault. I asked her who made her elbow move and she said "the nurons in my brain, it's their fault". Homeschoolers are, at least, creative, in passing the blame 

MARCH:
Little Bit and I don't like mushrooms, the rest of the family does. Lexie just told her that they grow mushrooms in "poop", to which she said "Really? I can't believe, YOU. EAT. POOP!" Lexie's response "yeah, we don't like to think of it that way" LOL

Little Bit quote: "I saw a mummy on Jake (tv show), mummies are covered with bandaids all over, except their eyes . . . "

Ashlyn: It smells like SPRING! Why would anyone want to use air fresheners? Fresh air smells SOOOOO much better!

Rodney (to Little Bit): Who told you you could get older young lady?!
Little Bit: God.
Rodney: Oh.

APRIL:

Watching a video, the guy said "put on your thinking caps . . . " to which Little Bit replied "I don't have a thinking cap" 

Mom just told Little Bit that she doesn't need to eat ALL the time. To which she replied "Mama, I'll STARVE if I don't eat, just like plants DIE if they don't have water!"

Ashlyn was telling Little Bit a fairy tale, at the end she declared emphatically that "the wizard was vanished from the land" and she refuses to believe that it should be banished.

Little Bit's running around the house, peeking into corners, cabinets, etc and saying "found you" everywhere she looks . . . I don't think I want to know who/what she's finding 

I just attempted to explain the concept of materiality, in auditing, to Ashlyn, she is HORRIFIED and has declared that I'm a terrible person, for not caring if a company's books are off by "thousands of dollars", I'm very amused . . . 

MAY:

Little Bit: "I know everything, ask me a question."
Lexie: "Who was the first president?"
Little Bit: "Adam and Eve"

(note, these next few are from while the girls were staying with my parents while Rodney had heart surgery)

And on a more fun note, after all the medical stuff, my dad sent me this update on life at their house, with the girls (note that the "laps" he mentions are on mom & dad's bikes, dad lowered the seats as far as they'd go and the girls are just barely tall enough to ride them):

 "Mom went to get a haircut and do some grocery shopping and left me 'watching the munchkins'. Little Bit told me that would be hard work for me.

I gave the twins a challenge to see how many round trips they could make between our house and Grandmas in 30 minutes. They took off and after 10 minutes had done 4 laps, 2 miles. At the end of the 30 minutes they had done 12 laps or 6 miles. I figure that was mighty good!

While they were doing their ride Little Bit was 'helping' me clean up some stuff in the garage. she found a box of old door knob parts and started getting interested in them. before the half hour was up she showed me that she had found a matching set of inside and outside parts and fitted them together. I was amazed!"

So nice to be with my girlie girls, they seem to be glad to see me. I'm kinda glad to see them too  And apparently spending 10 days with Papa has activated Little Bit's "question button", now she's asking as many questions as her sisters!!!!!

Last night Little Bit was upset about something so, to try to help her get over it, Ashlyn "tango" (video chat) my phone from her iPod. She created a monster, apparently the first thing Little Bit wanted to do when they got up this morning was talk to Mommy LOL. The 3 of them clustered around an ipod all talking at once is rather hard to follow, but they seemed to like it 

JUNE:
Little Bit: I wish we had chocolate chips for the granola, can we get some at my favorite store when we're there?
(side note: her "favorite store" is the grocery store that gives kids smarties at checkout. conveniently it's also where we're going today AND where I get chocolate chips)
Me: ok, can you remind me when we're there?
Lina: Sure, I'll keep it in my mind and not let anything else in . . . except maybe water . . . can somebody get me some water?

Little Bit, looking at the scar from Rodney's surgery, "I can't believe you let the doctor DO THAT to you!"

JULY:
Little Bit quote of the morning, while examining the inner workings of the recliner part of the sofa, "Someday I'm going to take the sofa apart and put it back together" . . . oh dear!

It's been awhile since we were in Pittsburgh. Ever since Little Bit was a baby she's loved the "shiny" tunnels out here. Thought she might have outgrown it by now, but nope! She's as enthralled as ever.

AUGUST:
Little Bit found a bottle of the vitamin D gummies we take in the wintertime and asked if she could have one. I told her those are for winter, she can get her vitamin D now by going out and being in the sun. . . she didn't want to go outside alone so she asked Ashlyn to read outside . . . "please, you'll get your vitamins!" 

We normally don't have cold cereal in the house (expensive and not healthy), but when I can find Rodney's favorites on a good enough sale I humor him. Today I brought home Cheerios. Rodney asked me why I got Cheerios and before I could answer Little Bit replied "because she loves her husband"  

Little Bit: mothers don't know EVERYTHING, you know . . . who was the first man?
me: Adam
Little Bit: oh . . . well, then . . . how tall is God?
me: NOBODY knows that.
Little Bit: See, I TOLD you mothers don't know everything!

Little Bit: You know, Dora's a real person.

Me: No she's not.
Little Bit: In my world, she is.
alrighty then . . .

I had to laugh, this afternoon Rodney took the girls shopping to get me birthday presents. When they got home Little Bit came in ahead of the rest of them and said "Mommy, you need to go to your room so we can sneak your presents in."

This afternoon Little Bit was playing with the iPad, she took a picture of something and said "this is perfect, I HAVE to blog about it!"

SEPTEMBER:
Me: I'm sore
Lexie: Why are YOU sore?
Me: Because I did a bunch of dragging of dirt today
Lexie (who has most definitely moved more dirt than I have this week) : Oh, I don't get sore
Little Bit: (whispers) Mommy's older than you
*snort*

Rodney (while picking on his children): come on, you can trust me, I'm your daddy
Ashlyn: nope, I already tried that
Rodney: when?
Lexie & Ashlyn, together: YEARS ago!

Me: Are you doing history (on the computer)
Lexie (while playing on a message board): No, I'm doing geometry
Me: how do you figure?
Lexie: I'm trying to use smilies to make a triangle, it's harder than you'd think . . . 
Me: sigh . . . I guess she gets points for creativity or something

I told Little Bit to go get dressed so we can run errands (she was in pjs). She came down wearing a long-sleeve dress. I told her I don't care, but she might get hot (it IS cooler than normal, but still . . . ). She said "good point, I'll be right back" came back downstairs with a t-shirt & shorts on UNDER the long-sleeve dress, so "if I get hot, I can just take the dress off". She is definitely a problem solver!

When my parents are here we usually watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. As we finished Jeopardy tonight, Wheel of Fortune was on and Little Bit excitedly said "Yay! My favorite part of Jeopardy, I don't like the word part, I like the wheel part"

Lexie: Mommy, how do you spell renaissance?
Little Bit: R . . . Mommy, what's next?
Me: R-e-n . . .
Little Bit: R-e-n . . . what's next?
Me: R-e-n-a-i-s-s-a-n-c-e
Little Bit: Yeah, what she said

OCTOBER:

Little Bit: tomorrow's my wedding . . . with my husband
Me: who's your husband
Little Bit: my brother
Me: who's your brother
Little Bit: Thomas (note, she doesn't KNOW a Thomas)
Me: huh?
Little Bit: (big sigh) you'll understand when you're older . . . maybe

Little Bit and my mom are talking about last names. Little Bit said, "my name is Brown, but it should be golden."

Little Bit put socks on her hands and said "look, I'm a platypus! When I spread my fingers out it's like there's webbing in between!"

Little Bit just came downstairs and said "Mommy, I need you to make me Christmas socks and Christmas clothes . . . I need brown socks, and brown leggings and a dark green dress and a hat that looks like a star . . . so I can look like a Christmas tree on Christmas!" . . . oooookkkkaaaayyyy . . . my response was "talk to me in December" LOL 

Lexie and Ashlyn were asked to act out the Bible story in Kindergarten at church this week, the story suggests having the kids help act out the story, so the girls are trying to figure out "costumes" (playsilks and headbands) to bring for the kids. They keep asking Little Bit to be their "model" so they can figure out if different playsilks work, finally when they said "model, we need you" she responded with a big sigh and the question "do models EVER get a break?!?!"

Lexie and Ashlyn were seeing if we could tell them apart when they're dressed the same (and hair's the same). Little Bit could still tell them apart and they asked her how she could tell. Her response? "your eyelashes are different" ooookkkaaayy . . . (they asked if she meant eyeBROWS and she said no and pointed to her eyeLASHES).

Ashlyn was reading a joke off a piece of candy "What kind of cat likes water?" Little Bit answered "a jaguar". When Ashlyn said "an octo-pus" Little Bit insisted "no, it's a jaguar, I learned it on Wild Kratts!" 

Cats are so weird. In our living room we have a big basket full of throw blankets and right next to it a hat box with wood blocks in it. I can't begin to imagine why the cat prefers to sleep on top of the blocks.

NOVEMBER:

Lexie: I'm going to figure out how to make carmel . . . how hard can it be?
Little Bit: And how messy can it be? A LOT!!!

Proof that I've raised 'em right . . . Lexie just said, "Lemonade Ice Tea is the best combination on earth . . . except chocolate and coffee." 

Our history fun today includes making marshmallow catapults. To make it more "history-related" Lexie also began her story of the "marshmallow wars" where medieval knights used giant marshmallows to build hold their catapult together and shot flaming marshmallows at the enemy. LOL

Little Bit (while holding a stuffed monkey, er orangutan (but I've never told her that)) just asked me if we have any (some word I've never heard) leaves. Ummm . . . no, why? "because I need it to help my pet orangutan's muscle soreness" alrightythen! A few minutes later, Ashlyn walked by and said something about Little Bit's "monkey" and Little Bit "huffed" and said "it's an APE, not a monkey! Monkeys have tails, apes do NOT!" this is what happens when 5 year olds watch Wild Kratts ad nauseum.

And another gem . . . Little Bit, to Lexie "Lexie, here's something important you need to learn about being a big sister . . . never blame someone without the facts!"

Little Bit, while making pinecone turkeys: Look Mama, I made the snood
My mom: ookkaayy
Little Bit: That's what that red thing on the head is called
Me, googling and confirming that she knows what she's talking about: Yup, she's been watching Wild Kratts again

DECEMBER:
Rodney was showing the girls the trailer for the new Hobbit movie and Ashlyn's comment was "ummm. . . did they even READ the book?" That's my girl! (and yes, she still wants to see it, she just pretends it's a completely different story from the book  )

Little Bit and Ashlyn were discussing Little Bit's loose front tooth and Ashlyn said it would probably fall out soon. Little Bit's response, "I just hope the new one grows in by corn season." Giggle! Wouldn't want to miss out on corn on the cob.

The girls are making cookies. Little Bit cracked the egg, all the way (as opposed to hitting it on the counter & then letting someone else pull it apart). Her comment, "Mommy, I finally put my thumbs in the gooeyness!" When the rest of us didn't express sufficient glee, she added "Aren't you guys EXCITED?!?!?!?!"

It's official, I'm raising history nerds. Lexie is going off on the fact that the King Arthur Flour bag's picture isn't historically accurate 

Little Bit (from the kitchen): Mommy, can I have an orange?
Me: yes
Little Bit: Good, because I forgot to ask you, and already peeled it.

And there you have it . . . just a taste of what life has sounded like at our house in 2014!