Friday, December 7, 2007

The problem with society (or at least one of them)

When I first read the Cathederal Builders story that I posted below, I posted it on a mom's group I'm on. It seemed like a recurring theme on that forum, and other groups with a high concentration of SAHMs, is "what is my purpose" which honestly, I've never understood (not in a "how can you feel that way?" sense, but in a "I've never felt that way" sense). Once we decided to have children, I knew I wanted to stay home with them. While I thoroughly enjoyed my "career" pre-kids, I left it without looking back (though I wish the company hadn't dissolved soon after I left, because I would have enjoyed being able to stop by occasionally & see my friends from there). Just as I left college when I graduated, and while I missed PEOPLE, I didn't miss "school", I saw full time motherhood as the "next step" not as leaving something behind per se. Since being home, I've enjoyed the freedom to devote time to causes that are important to me, start a home business, and start some new hobbies. I love that we can so sledding when it snows, make cookies when the mood strikes, and NOT have to drive in the snow . . . So, on a personal level, I don't understand the "who am I" conundrum that seems to plague so many SAHMs. That said, when I posted the cathedral builders forward on a mom's group forum of primarily SAHMs, I was still shocked to have a couple moms tell me flat out "that's not enough for me!" I need to be publicly recognized for MYSELF!

Now, for one thing, I'm SO not an "up front" kind of person. I hate getting up front. One of the things that drove me INSANE about having infant twins was that it drew SO MUCH attention! I hated that a simple trip to the grocery store drew tons of attention from strangers. I don't like being the center of attention, or even near the center of attention, so to not be "publicly recognized" is my preference LOL.

BUT all that aside, it just seemed sad to me, to hear a mom say, straight out that raising happy, healthy, successful kids wasn't "enough" for her.

It also reminded me of when I was working outside the home (pre-kids) and a new mom came back from maternity leave & was complaining that when she & her husband & baby went to visit her parents now, her parents greeted the baby before they greeted her, and how much that bothered her. I didn't have kids yet, but I just couldn't comprehend that thinking. I would find it odd if my parents didn't greet the kids first (assuming we were all there, if they went into the other room to look at a sleeping baby w/o saying hi to me, I might feel abit slighted), and of course now that they're not babies, I think it would be impossible, though I suppose if I ran really fast I could get to the door first, and by sheer size advantage be the first to see/greet/be greeted by whoever was at the door.

So much of the "parenting advice" &/or "questions from new parents" that I see is centered on how to fit baby/kids into your life rather than molding your life to meet the needs of these wonderful blessings from God. And it's a sad commentary on society. And it's not just in non-Christian circles. When it comes to parenting advice/methods I would venture to say that the WORST "don't let the child disrupt your life" methods are from "experts" who call themselves Christian, and (mis)quote scripture to "prove" why we, as parents, should ignore our children.

And now, this week, the shooting in Omaha, according to the news reports, the suicide note read "I'm sorry, but now I'll be famous" so this young man was so driven to "make a name for himself", to be the exact OPPOSITE of the cathederal builders, that he was willing to kill himself and numerous innocent people to make a name for himself.

And THAT, in my not-so-humble opinion, is a major problem with the society we live in. It has become so "me-centered" that a person is willing to murder in order to have recognition. So me-centered that mothers, even Christian mothers, are more focused on building themselves up than building their children up.

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